Sitting here in cyber den in a lonesome underground place somewhere in pune, trying to go back to old days, i remember how my life has literally turned around in a matter of weeks....acedamically, socially, and most importantly, psychologicaly.
Just more than a month ago, i wasnt sure if i'd land even close to where i wanted to....and today, im in a place which is supposed to be the best in the whole country.....the best medical college in the country....the BEST.... no one but me can understand my state of mind. Its more of dillusionary than joyous....like i dont deserve all this.....i dont know if ive mentioned this before, but all my life i have a feeling of getting more than wht i actually deserve....my friends say its nonsense.....even ive started to believe now that its nonsense....maybe im just too underconfident about myself and overconfident about others...thats just how i feel like.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Things turning around part 1
This happens to be my first blog, my first attempt at letting my feelings get lost in this vast world wide web. Hopefully it'll help. You and me. Figuratively.
Life's been treating me kinda differently recently. Ive started to get confused and stuck up at things that i used to just walk by earlier in my life. Lemme tell u about myself first. I am an Indian lad, 19 yrs of age, pursuing medicine. Thats all u need to know. Details will follow if i feel the need.
24th june 2009
"Today was real fun. The whole day was enjoyable. Went to play lawn tennis in the morning, discovered a new grip that gives me perfect shots even if i dont want to have one! Perfect ones everytime. Almost. Much like my life. Almost. Then, after some work at the college, started the actual fun. Went to Bumpy's place, one of my best friends. Bumpy's huge. He smokes, fags, drinks, plays, even studies! Rare combo. Great dude. Even better a friend.
Four of us friends decided to meet up at a cafe. Bumpy, Bismark, Cornflakes n me ended up in barista. A game of scrabble, half game, but well played. Some roaming around, cracking jokes, digging up the past, n we were done. Had a great time.
But even better times were to follow. Picked up my girl from her place n we went for a long drive. A really long one. And definately enjoyable.
But just as things were coming out perfectly, to put an end to this perfect day came a perfectly devastating phonecall. My brother. We had a long chat. It was about which college i should choose. My bro is elder and in the same line. He's supposed to be the better, the more sensible one, and the more sought after among the two of us.
I disagree most of the times.
I reached home, still one ear stuck to the phone. Discussing, actually arguing. For should i go for the better but expensive college, or the worse but relatively affordable college. Stakes were high this time. On both the sides. Both the sides of the phoneline too. I wanted the better college coz i knew my parents could afford much more than it. Besides, they themselves had said it wasnt a problem at all. Now here some people start wondering that i am a silly little boy who knows nothing of the finances and the problems and the hardwork and all that stuff. But mind u, they r my parents. MY parents. I know them. Better than you do. So just read on. Still arguing, i reached my mom's room. 3 minutes and 43 seconds more of the talk and i had had enough. I hung up the phone. Just to face something that was going to make my day from bad to worse. As soon as i hung up, mom's phone rang. It was my bro. It wasnt long before i figured out that the whole talk was mastered by my mom. She had asked him to talk to me about all this.
Now thats not a problem. The problem is that i expected my mom to talk directly to me. She could have. I would have understood.
Life's been treating me kinda differently recently. Ive started to get confused and stuck up at things that i used to just walk by earlier in my life. Lemme tell u about myself first. I am an Indian lad, 19 yrs of age, pursuing medicine. Thats all u need to know. Details will follow if i feel the need.
24th june 2009
"Today was real fun. The whole day was enjoyable. Went to play lawn tennis in the morning, discovered a new grip that gives me perfect shots even if i dont want to have one! Perfect ones everytime. Almost. Much like my life. Almost. Then, after some work at the college, started the actual fun. Went to Bumpy's place, one of my best friends. Bumpy's huge. He smokes, fags, drinks, plays, even studies! Rare combo. Great dude. Even better a friend.
Four of us friends decided to meet up at a cafe. Bumpy, Bismark, Cornflakes n me ended up in barista. A game of scrabble, half game, but well played. Some roaming around, cracking jokes, digging up the past, n we were done. Had a great time.
But even better times were to follow. Picked up my girl from her place n we went for a long drive. A really long one. And definately enjoyable.
But just as things were coming out perfectly, to put an end to this perfect day came a perfectly devastating phonecall. My brother. We had a long chat. It was about which college i should choose. My bro is elder and in the same line. He's supposed to be the better, the more sensible one, and the more sought after among the two of us.
I disagree most of the times.
I reached home, still one ear stuck to the phone. Discussing, actually arguing. For should i go for the better but expensive college, or the worse but relatively affordable college. Stakes were high this time. On both the sides. Both the sides of the phoneline too. I wanted the better college coz i knew my parents could afford much more than it. Besides, they themselves had said it wasnt a problem at all. Now here some people start wondering that i am a silly little boy who knows nothing of the finances and the problems and the hardwork and all that stuff. But mind u, they r my parents. MY parents. I know them. Better than you do. So just read on. Still arguing, i reached my mom's room. 3 minutes and 43 seconds more of the talk and i had had enough. I hung up the phone. Just to face something that was going to make my day from bad to worse. As soon as i hung up, mom's phone rang. It was my bro. It wasnt long before i figured out that the whole talk was mastered by my mom. She had asked him to talk to me about all this.
Now thats not a problem. The problem is that i expected my mom to talk directly to me. She could have. I would have understood.
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